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Hello to Joy! Where Does Joy Come From?
Finding small moments of joy in everyday life is one of the keys to becoming a happier, more relaxed person.
Where does joy come from? Some people find that their greatest happiness comes from sharing time with their friends or family. Others get a buzz from being creative or working toward a longed-for goal. However you like to spend your time, you are probably at your best when you are focusing on what you are doing right now - being in the moment makes us feel good! Quick fixes - like a wild night out or some new clothes - are great, but short-term highs like these need to be backed up with bigger resources of satisfaction. So if you wish you could feel more joyful, perhaps it's time to dig a little deeper...
The fact is: joy comes from within yourself. Your mood doesn't have to depend on what you have, or how successful you are in love, work, or any other aspect of life. It's more about appreciating the little things and making the most of every single day.
Some people say that happiness is a temporary feeling, while joy is a more stable, permanent emotion - not so much a transient feeling as an attitude of mind. If you can cultivate a joyful attitude, you will find that it transforms your experience of life. Of course you will still have ups and downs, because emotions and moods tend to come and go. But strengthening your emotional well-being will allow you to weather the storms and enjoy the sunshine even more.
Remember one thing most of all...
YOU HAVE THE POWER TO BRING MORE JOY INTO YOUR LIFE!
You may ask; if it's that easy, why are we all not more joyful? Part of the answer lies in our inbuilt tendency to put up barriers against joy. These blocks can come from patterns of behaviour that are based on past experiences, on a constructed view of ourselves and of life. Learning to recognise and overcome those blocks is a part of the journey toward true satisfaction and contentment.
Whatever stage of life you are in, whether things are going great or not, there's room for deeper, longer-lasting joy. Start to track your emotions so you get to know yourself better and reflect on why you feel the way you do.
Keeping a mood journal is recommended by therapists and psychologists because it:
- Creates a visual guide to your moods, so you can notice and appreciate the good times as well as spot niggling issues before they get out of hand.
- Provides a fantastic tool to build self-awareness, which helps you to develop greater self-confidence.
- Reveals links between what you do and how you feel - encouraging you to plan your time for maximum benefit.
- Encourages perspective - recording your emotions helps create a little distance between what is going on in your head and how you react to it, putting you in control.
- Feels good! Tracking your moods can be a healing act in itself, in the same way that talking through an issue helps.
Say Thanks - Gratitude
Gratitude is good for your health and mental well-being. When you focus on what you don't have, this makes you feel dissatisfied. When you are grateful, you naturally feel more content with the way things are. Simply noticing the good things in your life can help you to feel uplifted - and the more you practise this the easier it becomes. Look for ways to say thank you everyday. Here are some practical ways you can increase your gratitude.
Three thoughts
Every night, write down three small things you are grateful for - such as sunny weather or a chat with a friend. Let yourself experience the happy feeling that is gratitude.
Gratitude jar
Choose a nice big jar and whenever you feel grateful for something write it on a small piece of paper and put it in the jar. Then, when you need a boost, pick a piece of paper out of the jar, read it, remember the joy of that moment.
Embrace challenges
Be thankful for the difficulties in your life. Although they may be hard in the moment, challenges offer an opportunity to become more self-aware and as a result choose ways of being that create more space for joy.
Notice what you have
When you feel unhappy or dissatisfied, try listing all the positive things in your life. Try counting five things on the fingers of one hand right now.
Be in nature
Experiencing nature helps us feel calmer. Wherever you are, appreciate its beauty; a flower, a tree, or the sky. Whenever you get a chance, take a walk in the countryside, enjoying every step.
Giving thanks
You may be saying "thank you" many times a day without paying attention. Notice when you thank someone next time. Take the time to look at the person and let yourself feel your appreciation.
Rewire your brain
You can change the habit of complaining. Whenever you catch yourself wishing to moan about something trivial, stop and think of something good in that situation or the person involved.
Make Changes, Even Though You Have No Time
One of the biggest challenges we face is lack of time. We all know that it takes commitment to change our habits, but we also want results, fast! So, how can you make changes that will help you feel more joyful sooner? Here are some ways to make use of any spare time you have to transform your life. Tiny changes can make a big difference to how you feel.
Start small
Set yourself a simple goal, something that you can easily manage, such as taking a deep breath when you first wake up for three days. Achieving a small change will boost your confidence and encourage you to keep going.
Shift your attitude
Feeling happier is often a matter of changing the way you think and feel rather than your circumstances. Experiment with adopting a joyful approach to doing one thing you normally find boring - such as singing along to music while you load the dishwasher or do the ironing.
Re-evaluate
Assess your time management. Are you using your time wisely? Can you reduce time spent on less valuable activities to free up space for practising joyfulness? If you don't want to completely forgo something, then try alternating days and times to do different things.
Message yourself
It's easy to get caught up in the busyness of daily life, so if there is a new habit you want to adopt, leave yourself reminders everywhere; on your phone, in your wallet, and on sticky notes around your home.
Get inspired
Create a chart, collage, or drawing of your life and add all the new things you would like to be a part of it. Hang it on your wall, so you see it everyday.
Find a window
Everyone has some idle time in a day, whether it is waiting for a doctor's appointment or sitting on a train. Don't fill this time, but use it to be more joyful; take deep breath, smile, or focus on being in the moment.
Put it in writing
Write down the changes you want to implement. Make a note in your weekly planner or monthly review, or simply in a diary. Expressing your wishes helps focus your mind and strengthen your motivation.
Let Go Of Worries - Anxiety
A certain amount of worrying is normal. Anxiety is a survival mechanism that keeps you safe - if you had no fear, you might cross the road without looking, for example. Worrying can also tell you when something is not right and you need to get out of a situation. However, anxiety can get out of hand and take up precious time and energy. Decluttering your mind of worries leaves you free to experience more joy. Put those negative thoughts in their place!
Relax your body
Worrying makes your body tense, but relaxing the body can actually help relieve worrying. Yoga and Pilates can be great ways to unwind.
Face it
Often worries are about things that are unlikely to happen. Challenge yourself by asking; "What's the worst that can happen?" It's likely the worst is not as bad as you fear.
Make a list
If worry stops you from sleeping, make a list of your concerns before you go to bed. Once your worries are down on paper, your mind knows you won't forget them so can let go of them.
Make a worry date
Have a specific time for worrying - say, 7pm for 10 minutes. When worries surface at other times, remind yourself you can worry later!
Practice forgiveness
Holding a grudge creates burdens that you carry around with you, and can exacerbate worry. Let yourself forgive others from your heart and forgive yourself too if you feel you have wronged anyone.
You're safe now
Worry is something usually about something that has happened in the past, which you cannot change, or in the future, which we cannot predict. Remind yourself that you are safe right now - tell yourself, "I'm okay," or "I'm safe."
Get perspective
Imagine yourself 10, 20, or 30 years from now. How important will your current worries be then? Chances are that they won't matter much.
So put your worries behind you...
Boost Your Confidence - Stand Tall & Believe In Yourself
If you feel hesitant about trying new things, this may be because you don't value yourself highly enough to believe you can succeed. Lack of confidence can hold you back from achieving your dreams, and is a way of self-sabotaging your happiness. Working on your self-confidence helps you to feel free to be who you are without judging yourself. Stand tall and believe in yourself.
Put yourself first
Often you know exactly what you need to do in order to feel better. Yet somehow you put it off, placing your needs last on your to-do list. Remind yourself that your are important as everyone else and prioritise feeling good.
Block false beliefs
If you notice yourself voicing a negative belief such as "I can never get anything right" or "I'm such a loser," stop! Remind yourself that you don't have to believe negative thoughts.
Be self-kind
Have you noticed how you speak to yourself internally? Do you berate yourself when you make a mistake or blame yourself for everything that goes wrong? Speak as kindly to yourself as you would to others.
Know yourself
Sometimes a lack of confidence can stem from a lack of self-knowledge. Being present in life helps to build your awareness, so you get to know yourself better. Be curious about what makes you tick.
Be brave
When you are reluctant to do something that you know is good for you, take a leap and do it anyway. Facing your fears help you to develop greater confidence. If you avoid what you are afraid of, you won't ever find out what is possible.
Build resilience
If you are sensitive to people's comments and absorb other's emotions, you may need to flex your resilience muscle. Allow comments or criticism to fly past you, rather than letting them affect what you do.
